8 Simple Steps on How to Choose Friends Wisely


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We all need friends that we can talk to, someone who we can vent our hardships in life. Or we just might want a friend who we can have fun with. Finding the right friend who can meet your expectations can be challenging. You want a friend who you share the same values a friend who can encourage you, congratulate you after accomplishing something, respects you and also a friend who does not take advantage of you.

By choosing the right friends you will avoid disappointments, stress or even depression.

You should look for a friend who has your best interest in their hearts. There can be such people who look like they care about your life but in reality, they are just interested in getting something from you for their own selfish gain and they will do anything without caring about you, even if you are friendly to them.

Before you know how to choose your friends you need to “study everyone” know their weakness and strength, try to understand them. This will give you an understanding in choosing your friends and also becoming a leader.

The Following Are Steps That I use to help me select the Right Friends.

1. Choose a Friend with the Same Values as You.

Everyone has their own values and it is a must for a person who is your friend not to go against these values.

Let’s say you are very respectful about your possessions and you would hate someone who would treat your possessions with no respect. Then you should look for a friend who has your best interest in their hearts and not a friend who is willing to please people without caring about your boundaries. This is a person who can easily betray you especially if it is a person trying to be cool so that he or she can fit in another social group.

2. Choose a Friend who encourages you.

A Friend that encourages you is almost the best friend. This is a person who is interested in your life, your goals and what you want to accomplish without manipulating you for their own selfish gain. A friend who encourages you will not put you in a spot where you are envious. A person who makes you envious and is pretending to be your friend does not really care about you.

Such a person will almost all the time talk about their biggest accomplishments or their next big projects that will make them successful. Avoid these people because their actions will make you envious which will lead to stress and later depression, they can easily destroy your life and will not even care what happened to you.

3. Choose a Friend that share similar interest.

These are the fun friends and are the best friends to be around with when you are feeling down. You could share interests like music, sports, arts or adventure.

4. Choose a friend that can celebrate your Success.

A friend that can celebrate your success is very rare to find. If you find one make sure you keep them close. This is a true friend because such a person is interested about you, he/she will push you to accomplish your goals and celebrate every milestone.

5. Avoid people who are manipulative.

People who are manipulative are clever. They can easily trick you into becoming their friends. This is how such people trick you into becoming their friends;


  • They will tell you some truth about their life so that they can create trust with you (you will in turn think that this is a person who sees you as a good friend and you will not want to disappoint them.)
  • They will start to help you when you need assistance even when you have not asked for it.
  • They will then notice your interests and will come up with something that will make you envious.
  • They will ask about your goals and accomplishments in life for their own selfish gain and they will not encourage you to attain them.


If you suspect that someone is manipulating you for their own selfish gain, make sure you terminate the friendship.

6. Avoid people who love to gossip.

Gossiping is childish; you should look for a friend who likes to mind their own business. Do not be quick in choosing your friends. People who love to gossip and are your friends can easily destroy your reputation, even if it means to save their own skin.

If you have a friend and you are suspecting he/she is gossiping you make sure you carefully confront them, because if you don’t do it this will make your friendship awkward and you will eventually become enemies.

7. Choose a friend with common goals.

If you have a goal in life to own a certain business and you come across a person with the same dream, you should make sure that you become friends. When selecting such friends (this is not the case with all situations as it depends on the people working together) make sure that you do not have the same skills as this can lead to competition and instead of working together you will be rivals.

8. Choose friends who always want to gain more knowledge.

Knowledge is the key in life, having friends who can help you learn something new from them is great. They can give you information that will help you in your life.

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Photo by Jorge Alvarez Lecaros from Pexels


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